December 24, 2011

Guest Post: Michael Pilla

Filed under: The Writing Life — jenny @ 10:04 pm

For all the wonderful readers of Suspense Your Disbelief! Whichever holiday you celebrate–or if you celebrate no holiday at all–please accept this laugh out loud funny take on a classic poem by the talented Michael Pilla as my gift at year’s end to you all. I am so grateful for each and every reader who stops by the blog, those who comment and contribute to some of the amazing conversations that have gone on, and of course, every author, writer, and reader who has graced us with a guest post. I hope that 2012 brings many wonderful things into all of your lives, and many more wonderful days on the blog. Happy New Year!

Michael Pilla

Twas the Tweet before Christmas

And all through the ‘net, there were last minute specials,

And shopping time yet!

Photos were sent to the cloud with great care

So family and friends would be able to share.

The usual gadgets, some small and some large

Were all neatly plugged in for their overnight charge.

And Mom on her iPad and me on my Mac

Were Skype-ing our friends while having a snack.

When then our connection was lost to the router,

I yanked off my earbuds to see what was the matter.

A tingling I felt, from my head to my toes

Spying a red mini cooper — festooned with logos!

Flying faster than video on 1080p

The driver called out his sponsors, as clear as can be…

Now ebay, now Apple, now Am’zon and Zappos

On Google, on Priceline, on Fedex and Fios.

I knew in a moment, without any pause

It was the new and improved Santa —”Cyber Clause”.

Struck speechless was I, much like a mime

But I had to go greet him and grab some face time.

His clothes were Armani, to give him his due

He looked healthy and rested, and much slimmer too.

No more with the sleigh, or toys in the sack

That was old Clause, with the bad back.

“I’m the Mayor of Christmas,” he chortled with glee,

As he checked in with FourSquare, before speaking to me

“With gadgets, and cards”, he briefly explained

“My job’s become easier, no need to strain

I’ve streamlined my workshop, there’s much less to do

Put a factory in China, reindeers in a zoo.

I layed off some elves, I now work part time —

Since I developed an app to keep kiddies in line.

No more written lists of those naughty and nice,

I get real time updates, don’t have to check twice.”

He dropped off some gifts that were both pretty and small

And sucked down the Red Bull I left in the hall.

Then quick as a wink he dashed out to his car,

It started right up, and was bright as star.

He texted my Droid as he drove out of sight —

“Like me on Facebook” and have a good night!

As a creative director, internet marketer, graphic designer, illustrator and entrepreneur, Michael Pilla has built his career achieving business objectives through the targeted use of art and technology for clients in the arts, entertainment. real estate, professional services and small business.

Michael has served as an Associate Creative Director for the Sponsorship Group at the, where he created interactive advertising for Fortune 100 companies including Clinique, CompUSA, Ford, Fuji Film, and PNC Bank. He next brought his talents to ModemMedia, working on IBM, GE, and the development of IBOL (Investment Bankers Online) portal for USB Warburg.

A sought-after speaker on the power of Internet marketing, Michael has spoken at events for the Westchester Business Council, Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, the Arts and Business Council of New York and Yonkers Partners in Education. He has also taught internet and design courses at Pratt Institute, Pace University and Mercy College.


  1. A good laugh on a quiet Christmas Day for me. The poem was wonderful, and thank you, Jenny, for bringing this all to us. Happy and healthy New year to you and your family.

    Comment by Lil Gluckstern — December 25, 2011 @ 8:18 pm

  2. Thanks, Michael, for the laughs. I’m just getting to this on December 26, as I suspect many others will. It’s my first foray into the big world after an exceedingly busy family Christmas. What a great take on the theme! I’ll read it to our houseful of visiting relatives once everyone is up and stirring. (It might take a while today for the adults, though the kids are up.) Thanks, Jenny, for giving us yet another wonderful post. Happy New Year to you and yours. Liz

    Comment by Elizabeth C. Main — December 26, 2011 @ 12:29 pm

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